Who the Hades is Percy Jackson?
by Drawing On Converse
Summary: Piper is confused about a lot of things. But one of them is really bothering her. It's a simple question, really. Yet, nobody wants to answer it. Who the Hades is Percy Jackson?
1. He got Cheese Poured on His Head

_It's too much,_

_Yeah it's a lot…_

Piper was confused.

Unfortunately, this emotion was entirely too familiar to her. She was confused when she found out the Greek gods were real, confused as to why Drew ruled the cabin, confused about her fake memories, confused about Jason's feeling for her, confused about how Leo was such an amazing cook… Piper was confused most of the time. But this, this was really bugging her.

Who the Hades was Percy Jackson?

And Piper didn't want the _oh, he was Annabeth's boyfriend_ or _oh, he saved the world like, 5 times,_ or _he pisses off gods like it's a hobby _or even _he was sooo hot! _(The last example courtesy of the Aphrodite cabin.) Piper wanted the real story, and the entire story. But everyone acted like their missing leader was a taboo subject. They warned her not to bring it up with Annabeth, though Piper thought she was made of stronger stuff than bursting into tears because someone asked about her missing boyfriend. And the other campers were just making her curiosity worse. Like, earlier today. She saw the Stoll's whispering together on her way to archery, and did her civic duty by trying to stall whatever they were plotting.

"Hey guys," Piper nodded at them. "What you up to?"

"Nothing," they answered in unison with matching smirks.

"Don't do anything to get Annabeth pissed today, we're having a meeting about the _Argo II _this afternoon and I do not want to deal with it," she narrowed her eyes. The Stoll brothers looked like they could care less.

"Man, I wish Percy was here. Annabeth didn't get nearly as mad. In fact, he even helped with some of our grander pranks," the shorter one, Travis, sighed.

"He made Annabeth stay calm?" Piper raised one eyebrow, skeptical. When Annabeth got on a rant, she got on a rant. Piper chose to ignore the part about _grander pranks_. If putting purple hair dye in her shampoo was small, she didn't want to be within 10 miles of _grand_.

"Yeah, or he'd just kiss her to shut her up. Well, gotta go! People to see and all of that…" The Stoll's trotted off, winking at Piper over their shoulders. She was getting used to the, uhm, _attention_ from the male campers.

OooooOooooO

Meetings, Piper quickly learned, were insufferably, mind-numbingly boring. She mentally thanked Hermes for having Travis and Connor hold off on the prank; though an angry Annabeth might spice up the meeting a little. There is only so much time one can listen to about support joints and obtuse angles and the gods only know what else. Whoever Percy is, he must be a saint.

"How does he do it?" Piper muttered under her breath. Unfortunately, she chose to mutter during a pause in Annabeth's monologue, and everyone turned to look at her. Piper blushed fire engine red.

"How does who do what?" Annabeth only sounded slightly annoyed that Piper interrupted her speech.

"Oh, nothing, never mind," Piper shook her head like it was no big deal.

"No, really Piper, we would love to hear your opinions on this fascinating subject," Connor tilted his head to the side. Annabeth glared at his obvious sarcasm.

"Yeah Pipes, can I call you Pipes? You can tell us your ideas. We won't laugh at you… probably," Travis gave another smirk. Piper gave them both a glare to match Annabeth's. It didn't seem to affect them.

"Um… Well…" Piper stuttered. _Fuck the Stoll's; they knew I wasn't talking about the damn boat! _"I was actually wondering about how Percy managed to get through these meetings." Piper sucked in a breath; certain Annabeth was about to stab her.

Instead, she smiled. A _real_ smile. Not some half- hearted lift the corners of you mouth shit. A smile.

"Actually, he didn't. His eyes glazed over whenever I got started on architecture, and he would constantly fall asleep halfway through war councils," Annabeth looked at the opposite wall reminiscently. Piper couldn't help but think how much younger and prettier she looked when she smiled. '_If I ever get ahold Hera, I'm going to punch her for messing with my friend's love life.' _

Connor ruined the moment by snickering, "Yeah, remember that time we poured nacho cheese on his head to wake him up?" Now Annabeth was back to looking peeved. Jason looked slightly horrified.

"How could he be a leader if he didn't pay attention in meetings? They won't take him seriously in the Senate if he behaves like that!" Ok, Piper thought Jason looked really cute with his mouth pulled to the side like that, but she also thought it was a tad hypocritical of him.

"Yeah, cuz you were listening to everything Annabeth was saying," Leo snorted, voicing Piper's thoughts. It was Jason's turn to blush. Piper took pity on him.

"Well, I for one would really like to know how Percy got to be so respected in this camp, even if he had cheese poured on his head," Piper stated.

"Yeah, I've been wondering about him too. Does he have a sense of humor? Does he like tacos? These are important questions people!" Leo pounded a fist on the table. Piper gave him a sideways glance.

"Getting cheese dumped on him, that's nothing. Little punk didn't even bother to get revenge. Now, that time I dunked him in the toilet, _that's_ somethin' worth talking bout," Clarisse leaned back in her chair.

"_Tried_ to dunk him in the toilet. He just got the water to spray you and all your siblings. He didn't even get wet," Annabeth retorted. Clarisse pushed her chair out and shook a fist at Annabeth.

"You wanna go, girlie?" She threatened. The Stoll's looked highly entertained by the little spat, but Katie Gardner stepped in.

"Cut it out guys. This is not the arena," She warned.

"I just want to know a little more about Percy," Piper said.

"Yeah, spraying you with toilet water? Dude sounds awesome!" Leo scooted his chair back a little at the glare Clarisse gave him.

"Oh, come on, Annie," Travis whined.

"Yeah, hearing about Percy's life is a helluva lot better than talking about some ship," Connor added. Leo looked ready to protest that the _Argo II_ was not 'some ship', but Annabeth answered first.

"Fine. But don't call me Annie ever again if you value your lives," she narrowed her eyes. Apparently, her glare is better than mine, because the shut up. "Okay, let's start at the beginning… We should probably IM Grover, he was there at the beginning."

"Gasp! And to think Annabeth was there by Percy's side from the start!" Connor clutched his heart in mock horror.

"Whatever. Pay up, you two," Annabeth held out her hand. They scooped a small pile of drachmas out of their pockets, grumbling about funding everything. Piper didn't even want to know where they got those from. Annabeth turned on the cheese melter, grabbed the spray hose from the sink, and spritzed the hot plate with water. As the steam rose, it caught light from the window, forming a little rainbow. Annabeth took a drachma and tossed it into the mist.

"O Iris, Goddess of the Rainbow, accept my offering. Show me Grover Underwood."

**Author's Note: **_**word count(not including A/N)- 1212 **_

**Hey guys! I've always felt bad for Leo, Piper and Jason being in the dark about Percy's awesomeness. So I decided to tell the story in two parts! This is obviously the prologue part… Anyway, I will be updating **_**Leo's Unhelpful Guide to Organic Life Forms **_**soon, and you can even expect the next long- awaited installment of **_**Colors of Light. **_**And I have to post the next chapter of **_**Fellow Pranksters**_**. It's just a joy, writing four stories at once. The next part of this will hopefully be up within a week, so hurrah! Then I won't have a damned plot bunny chasing me around and I'll only have to update three things. Yay… The lyrics at the top come from **_**The Show**_** by Lenka.**


	2. Why do the bad guys explain the plan?

"_O Iris, Goddess of the Rainbow, accept my offering. Show me Grover Underwood."_

The mist shimmered before focusing in on a satyr in a purple t-shirt reading 'Don't trash our world. Recycle!' leaning against a tree, his eyes closed. His mouth was curved in a slight smile, and his horns stuck out of his curly hair a good 5 inches.

"Grover! Grover!" Annabeth called. The satyr, Grover, shook his head slightly and mumbled,

"Enchiladas?" before opening his eyes. As he caught sight of Annabeth, he waved and stood up. "Hey Annabeth! How are things?" The smile he had before was replaced by a tight, worried expression.

"Oh, you know," Annabeth waved her hand and grimaced. "I've told you about Piper, Leo and Jason, right?" Grover looked around her and is eyes widened in recognition.

"The ones who saved Hera? I'd congratulate you, but she's not exactly my favorite person," Grover made a face. Piper heard thunder roll through the IM. "Anyway! Nice to meet you! I'm Grover, Lord of the Wild." He nodded his head. Piper couldn't believe that this completely normal, maybe a little messy even, looking guy was a _Lord_. She heard Clarisse snort.

"Don't let his 'Lord of the Wild' shit fool you. He's a scaredy- cat." Grover bleated in annoyance.

"Hey-"

"Guys, we don't have time for your squabbles! I'm paying one drachma every five minutes! Focus!" Annabeth scolded. The Stoll's muttered something that sounded suspiciously like "_We're_ paying a drachma.'

"Sorry Annabeth. What did you call about?" Grover apologized.

"Piper, Leo and Jason wanted to know more about Percy, and you're his best friend," Annabeth explained. Grover looked proud that she said 'best friend'.

"Thanks Annabeth. The only person who knows him better is you, and to quote him, 'That's different.' So you want to know what happened when I first met Perce?" Grover was grinning.

"Yeah. He sounds pretty awesome," Leo said.

"He is pretty awesome," Grover agreed. "I'll tell you what his life was like in sixth grade, when I met him. His mom had married this awful guy, Gabe, to cover up Percy's demigod scent. Percy called him 'Smelly Gabe', but he didn't' know the half of it. That guy _stunk_," Grover curled his lip.

" 'Smelly Gabe.' That sounds like Prissy," Clarisse smirked.

"Anyway, he had gotten kicked out of every school he ever went to at the end of the year. I don't blame them, either. He shot a cannon at a school bus in fifth grade," Grover laughed. Leo looked like Christmas had come early. "So we were at Yancy together. He was my best friend, and always stood up for me. People bullied me a lot because I use crutches when I pretend to be human. But Percy didn't care that defending me made me his only friend. He did it because it was right. Same thing with Tyson, but that's later on. Anyway, we went to the Metropolitan Museum of Art on a field trip, and a Fury attacked him. But Chiron threw him a sword at the last minute, and Percy killed it." Everyone looked rather shocked, even Annabeth.

"I thought the Minotaur was the first monster he beat?" She asked.

"Well, no," Grover looked slightly guilty. "He never mentioned Alecto?" Annabeth shook her head, looking royally pissed. "Well, even after that the Mist affected him, so I'm not too surprised. He thought someone had slipped drugs into his lunch." Piper snorted. The blunt way Grover stated things was hilarious. "Then, on the last day of school, his mom headed out to Montauk with him. They had a cabin they always rented because that was were Mrs. Jackson, or Sally, met Poseidon. Anyway, I followed them there because Percy was in danger, and Sally started driving us to camp. Percy was a little freaked about my goat legs though. Right at the base of the hill, the Minotaur pushed the car into mud. I, um, passed out," Grover rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. The Stoll's and Leo burst into laughter, but Jason frowned.

"Weren't you supposed to be protecting him?" he asked. Piper didn't blame him, wasn't it the satyr's job to get people to camp safely. However, she was glad she didn't say anything when every camper in the room glared at Jason. He quickly shut up.

"Yeah, um, so anyway, Percy and Sally dragged me to the top of the hill, but then the Minotaur grabbed Sally and she disappeared in a flash of gold light. Then Percy flipped onto the monster's back, ripped off a horn, and stabbed the Minotaur with it. He still has the horn in his cabin." Grover finished to a rather impressed silence. Well, on Leo, Jason and Piper's part at least. The other camper's looked bored, like this story had been told a million times around the campfire. Grover's image started to flicker, so Annabeth tossed in another drachma.

"I'll take it from here, Goat Boy," Annabeth said. Piper smiled at 'Goat Boy'. "So Percy drags Grover across the camp borders to the bottom of the hill. Then he passed out. Me and Chiron come out and carry him to the porch, and he woke up a little. Then, he was put in the infirmary for a few days, and I had to feed him ambrosia and wait by his sickbed and stuff."

"The first time he met Annabeth fully awake, she told him, 'You drool when you sleep.' and ran down the hill. Love at first sight if you ask me," Grover grinned while everyone cracked up. Annabeth was blushing slightly. "Then he got his first quest, which was to find Zeus's master bolt. Zeus thought Percy had stolen it, and we had until the summer solstice to get it back. Percy, Annabeth and I got on a bus. Unfortunately, so did three Furies and we had to fight them. We ended up blowing up our bus and all our supplies that were in it. We found Medusa's lair, which Percy and Annabeth wanted to eat at, and she tried to turn us into statues. I flew around on the shoes Luke gave Percy who gave them to me, and hit her with a stick," Grover nodded, impressed with himself.

"Why would Percy give you the flying shoes?" Piper asked. Grover's face immediately darkened.

"Because Zeus would have shot him out of the air. It's a good thing he gave them to Grover, though. Anyway, Percy held a glass garden orb in his hand and killed Medusa while looking at the reflection. The head was left behind as a trophy. Then, Percy did something really stupid. He wrapped up the head, wrote 'To: The Gods. With Regards: Percy Jackson' on it and Hermes- mailed it to Olympus," Annabeth stated with a half- smile. The Stolls's high- fived.

"Sick! I wonder if we sent a dead squirrel to Olympus…" Travis's eyes were glinting with mischief.

"Let's not!" Piper plastered on a smile and put as much force as she could into her words. The smirks slipped off the Stolls's faces and they nodded somberly.

"Then we got on a train. We had a layover in St. Louis and went to see the Arch. Grover and I went down the elevator before Percy, and he got stuck up top with a Chimera. He ended up having to jump into the river. That's when he found out he could breathe underwater. So we continued on until we ran out of money in Denver. Ares bought us food at a restaurant, then made Percy and I do him a favor. We had to get his shield from an old amusement park ride. Of course, Hephaestus had trapped it so Olympus go to see Percy and I be attacked by metallic spider on the _Joy Ride of Love_," Annabeth smiled wryly. Leo cracked up.

"Cool! My dad has a sense of humor! Oh, this is great!" he cackled. Grover gave him an odd look.

"So… after that, Ares got us a ride to Las Vegas. A ride with _animal smugglers_. I set the animals free and gave them the Blessing of the Wild once we got there, though. Then, we went into this place called the Lotus Hotel and Casino. Stay way from there. It has sick rides and games, but you never want to leave. You don't age, and time passes differently. Percy didn't know anything was wrong till some guy said, 'Groovy.' Then he started asking people what year it was, and they all gave him different answers. He grabbed me and Annabeth and we booked it out of there. Of course, five days had passed," Grover stopped for breath. Piper was impressed. That sounded a lot worse then her quest, and his wasn't even finished yet.

"We finally got to LA, where the entrance to the Underworld is," Annabeth started. Piper gave her an odd glance. Annabeth saw. "Yeah I know, kind of ironic, isn't it? But Percy, of course, provoked some gang of rich boys, and we hid in a water bed shop." Everyone burst out laughing. Annabeth looked to be holding back too. "Hey! It wasn't funny! That was Procrustes's lair. He tied Grover and me down onto waterbeds and was about to stretch us to death. Percy flattered him into trying out a bed. Then he chopped Crusty's head off with Riptide, the sword Chiron gave him on behalf of Poseidon. It looks like a ballpoint pen until he uncaps it. And it always shows back up in Percy's pocket. Once he dropped it off of Mt. Olympus, and it was back in five minutes," Annabeth looked around at all of them.

"Sweet! I want a sword that turns into a pen!" Leo clapped his hands together like a little kid.

"So after we got the Hades out of there, we headed to Hades. Percy bribed Charon into letting us on the ferry that brings spirits into the Underworld. Annabeth here played catch with Cerberus so we could get into Hades' palace," Grover smiled proudly at Annabeth.

"Respect for the dog training," Leo nodded at her. Piper frowned.

"Wait a minute, why did you guys need to see Hades so badly anyway?" she asked.

"Grover!" Annabeth scolded. He fiddled with the hem of his shirt.

"Whoops. Forgot to mention that. We thought Hades had taken the master bolt. So we pass Tartarus, the pit of the damned, and my magical shoes start pulling me in. I had to kick them off and run out of there. We finally get to Hades palace, and he thinks Percy stole his Helm of Darkness! Then Percy argues saying he took the bolt. Hades told him to open the backpack Ares gave us, and sure enough, the bolt was inside there. It was rigged to only appear when we reached the Underworld. So know Percy is extremely pissed, and Hades tells him he's only holding his mother hostage. Once we return the helm, he gets his mom back. Then, we used these pearls Perce got from his dad's friend to get out of the Underworld. We end up on the beach with Ares. Percy fought him and won. Of course, then Ares cursed him, but he won a battle with the god of war," Jason sat back in his seat, shocked. This guy was insanely powerful. Clarisse scowled at the mention of Prissy beating her dad. Annabeth finished the story.

"What he got out of Ares was that someone had told him in his dreams that stealing the bolt and Helm would create a war between the gods, which Ares would love. He gave Percy the Helm back, and Percy gave it to the Furies. Then we got a plane home. I have never seen Percy so scared, I thought he would pee his pants," Annabeth smiled at the memory. "He gave Zeus back his bolt, and he got to meet Poseidon for the first time. We finished the summer at camp pretty normally. Until the end. Luke went out to the woods with Percy and set a pit scorpion on him. He told Percy that he stole the bolt and helm, got caught by Ares, and then planted the idea of war in Ares head. Luke was working with Kronos, the king Titan," Annabeth swallowed, like this pained her.

"Why would he do that?" Leo questioned. When he saw their disbelieving faces, he hastily backtracked. "Not killing Percy. I get that. I mean, explain his evil plan to Percy. The bad guys do that, then the good guy escapes and tells everyone. Some things you should keep to yourself." Everyone looked rather impressed.

"He has a point. It's kind of stupid," Katie pointed out grudgingly.

"Yeah, especially since Percy obviously lived," Piper added. Grover and Annabeth looked at each other.

"I never thought about it that way," said Grover. Then he burst out laughing. Everyone followed suit but Annabeth. Piper remembered the feeling she got when Annabeth mentioned Luke. She had obviously had a crush on him years ago. It must be horrible, to love somebody and find out that they are a traitor.

**Author's Note: **_**word count before A/N: 2178 **_**Hey guys! Quick update, right? Thank you so much for all the review and favorites! I decided putting it into two parts was much too short. So I will do one chapter for each book instead. I really hate this chapter… Oh well.**

**Puretorcheris (too lazy to type the rest of your username): Thank you very much!**

**Validus Draco: What do you agree with? Sorry.**

**Mysterysolvers1: That just popped into my head as I was writing it! I was like, yeah, they would pour cheese onto Percy's head.**

**Smojo12: Thank you for logging in, it means a lot **

**Haykey TT Showbiz: I kept going… just for you **

**Miette in the Rain: Thank you! Sorry that there's not as much interaction.**

**Percyrox: Love the pun and I got it, don't worry.**

**Percabethforevafan: I tried to squeeze it all in. It was tough, there is just so much awesomeness!**


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